For positive connections to exist in our
classrooms, we should assume the best if we want to foster long-term learning.
Students often live up to our expectations as they can tell what we believe
about them in how we treat them.
In my early years, I used to listen to
reports of challenging behavior from student's previous year teacher, and made
unfair assumptions about them before they entered my room. I now realize that
this is unfair. Children grow and change and often demonstrate different
behavior when in a new environment. Our job as teachers is to accept them
where they are and help them get to their next step academically and socially.
This involves having a positive mindset about the child's ability to perform
and grow from their current level of functioning.
We will inevitably find ourselves in
difficult situations when kids who live in tough conditions bring those
elements into the classroom by either acting out or challenging your authority.
When I assume the best rather than presume that the child does not want to be
there, will refuse to participate, and won’t care to learn proper behavior, I
limited my ability to educate the child while also losing the opportunity to
build a positive parent-student connection.
The
Invisible Contract
When I start the year assuming the best, I
imagine that each child that enters my classroom holds an invisible contract.
Students come to the classroom with the
following expectation:"Please teach me appropriate behavior in a safe and
structured environment." Teachers have their own side of the contract:
"I will do my best to teach you appropriate behavior in a safe and
structured environment."
Some students have tried to test my limits
by challenging my authority to see just how far they can go before I break.
Despite what they already know to be appropriate behavior, they will act out to
see if I will pass their test and teach them appropriate behavior while
ensuring their safety and structure.
The reality is that while kids want to test
us, they ultimately want us to pass. Kids who act out are demanding attention
and don’t realize that they are actually seeking structure and someone to
correct their misbehaviors.
Kids who are more prone to act out usually
identify themselves from the moment they first enter the classroom. But rather
than prepare for misbehavior by producing a list of the appropriate
consequences, I assume the best and approach them while observing my tone of
voice, voice volume, posture, and body language. I manage the student with
strategies that aim to prevent the bad behavior before it happens.
Consider
using the 2x10 Strategy
I had a particularly difficult student who
loved to disrupt the class. He would talk out of turn, ask questions not
related to the topic we were discussing, and complain loudly that the lesson or
equations were too hard.
Every day for ten days in a row, I spoke
with him for 2 minutes about anything he wanted. In the beginning, he didn’t
take it seriously and would talk about utter nonsense. But a few days later, he
started to open up, telling me a little more and more about home and even what
he wanted to be when he grew up. By day 10, I hadn’t even realized that ten
days had passed or at which point his behavior had improved. All I know is that
there was now less disruptions and more eye contact during lessons. Sure there
was still the occasional outburst in his attempt to make his classmates laugh,
but it was always related to the subject matter and no longer what I would
consider misbehaving.
When the child gets the opportunity to talk
about their interests, they form a relationship with the teacher, and the
student begins to see that they are sincerely cared for. Often, kids act out
because they have no one to listen or pay genuine attention to them. After ten
days, you’ll notice that the child’s classroom behavior has improved.
Strategies such as these have helped me
realize that kids who misbehave do in fact want to be disciplined and that all
their griping about homework or pop quizzes is their way of communicating that
they want to be cared for. When I assumed the best, I removed all negative
presumptions that would otherwise have hurt my ability to both educate and
discipline the child in a safe and structured manner.
